Our kids learn from observing those around them, especially their caretakers.
Youth are experiencing many challenges at home, in school, and in their communities, intensified by the isolation required by COVID restrictions, the racial justice reckoning, and increased reliance on internet driven sources of connection and entertainment. At Boston Children’s Hospital’s three primary care sites, we have seen an increase in children and teens reporting symptoms of depression: spending more time alone, withdrawing from activities, loss of motivation, increased irritability, difficulty with concentration, feeling hopeless, and sometimes having thoughts of hurting themselves. While it is normal to be sad, stressed or down sometimes, prolonged mood and behavior changes can be a sign of depression.
Adults can help by teaching our children how to experience and work through their feelings so that they can function in the world with confidence that they have the skills to manage the ups and downs that may come their way. How do we do this?
By modeling this behavior, ourselves. Our kids learn from observing those around them, especially their caretakers. This might look like naming our feelings aloud, saying what we’re going to do to take care of ourselves (“I’m going to go for a walk” or “I’m going to take three deep breaths right now.”)
By helping children to identify their feelings on a regular basis and giving them the language for this. (“What are you feeling right now about this? What does that feel like in your body?”)
By helping kids develop their own skills for managing their feelings (“What makes you feel better? Swinging on swings? Coloring? Listening to music?”)
By spending positive time with you. We know from research that a positive connection with an adult is a clear protective factor against mental health issues. This could look like watching a show together or asking your child to show you the video game they like to play, making food together, or taking a walk together.
If you are concerned your child is suffering from depression, reach out to your child’s primary care provider and/or school to get their thoughts and recommendations. For more urgent help, there’s a statewide number for families experiencing a mental health crisis: 877-382-1609. For more information about children’s mental health, please visit www.handholdma.org.
Nanci Ginty Butler, LICSW, Julie Ogletree, LICSW & Natalie Sheehan Dias, LICSW – The three authors oversee the mental health services in each of BCH’s three primary care clinics.
