Gen Z: Are they too “good”?

Gen Z: Are they too “good”?

By Alex Ellison

In 2019, I wrote a blog entitled How Latchkey Kids Became Snowplow Parents. I wanted to explore how a generation of kids that was largely left to its own devices in the 90s became a generation of parents raising kids addicted to smartphone devices and completely content staying home with their parents. By smoothing away all obstacles and protecting their kids from the world that exists outside of their phones, Gen X parents might simply be responding to what their kids want; or they may be decelerating a Generation whose internal time clock ticks a little slower. While their Gen X parents couldn’t wait to accelerate into young adult life (Fast Times at Ridgemont High, anyone?), Gen Z has pleaded with society to grow up more slowly. This “Peter Pan” generation may even be afraid of growing up.

Jean Twenge, the preeminent author and researcher on generational trends says Gen Z is driving later, drinking later, having sex later – and much less when they do – getting married later, and signs are pointing to postponing having kids. While their parents started having sex and drinking at a shockingly young age, teens today actually find that behavior disturbing. Generally, these are good trends. Less risky behavior means fewer accidents. They are a proof of the slow-life phenomenon that is a product of safer times (yes, despite what the news might have you think) and of a high-tech age that makes it possible to grow up at a slower pace (more can be done behind a screen and out of the elements). But this isolated generation isn’t necessarily safer. According to Twenge, “For Gen Z, the dangers of the in-person “meatworld” have faded, while the maladies of an indoor, less active, screen-filled life – both mental and physical – have accelerated.” Teens today might say they feel unsafe and stressed out by the world “out there” but they are their own worst enemies.

The world around us, with the 24-hour news cycle and rapid technological innovation, seems to be moving at a blindingly quick pace, yet the barrage of new technologies has also allowed us to grow up more slowly. It’s a strange juxtaposition: a slow-paced life in a fast-paced world.

It’s this contradiction that may be partly why teens are so anxious: they feel they have less agency in an uncertain world, and they don’t feel ready to address the complexities of life.

What’s the result?

A resource-motivated generation obsessed with safety, security, and predictability.

When I first started counseling, I thought I was on a mission to help free the American teenager from oppressive, boring, and antiquated education. I was a fan of Seth Godin’s Stop Stealing Dreams, and Sir Ken Robinson’s The Element, and A.S. Neil’s Summerhill. I almost launched an alternative school for teens and I was a frequent visitor to the education-innovation conference, SXSWedu (giving a talk there on the topic of Gen Z’s early signs of bizarre practicality). I thought this would be the generation that would challenge the rising cost of tuition, forge a new, more interesting path to higher ed, look for alternatives to outdated expectations, and question conventions. The reality has proven to be much different. With only 5 more years of Gen Z teens still to go (the youngest were born in 1995 and the oldest in 2012), trends have shown a generation that is decidedly risk-averse, money-motivated, and practical.

Before the late 70s, American teens went to college to “develop a more meaningful philosophy of life.” By 1980 this meaningful life nonsense was outpaced by another, more practical incentive: financial well-being. The trend has continued with Gen Z being perhaps the least fanciful generation in history. Their heads are out of the clouds and their feet are solidly on the ground. Humanities majors are down; business majors are up. Dreams are out; real life is in.

When I survey new students whom I counsel, What class do you wish you had in high school? I rarely see responses like sculpture, creative writing, video game design, extreme sports, or the life of Taylor Swift. Nope…. Personal finance is their top pick. That’s right. They want to learn how to balance a smart budget and do their taxes.

These sound like the kids every parent hopes for: well-adjusted, independent, tax-paying citizens. Go ahead and turn that spare bedroom into a workout room because these kids won’t be back after college! Right?

Maybe not. Their slow-life strategy is causing them to put off adult life longer than previous generations. They may rely on their parents later into adulthood because it will take them longer to graduate (maybe with multiple degrees), get a job, buy a house, and get married. In fact, being in a committed relationship is less of a priority for Gen Z than it was for their parents, so they may very well stay attached to the families that raised them rather than raise their own.

So even though Gen Z talks about finance classes and adulting, sensing they need to know about these things, they feel underprepared for and stressed about the future, so they are clinging to what sound like safe plans. When a student tells me what they would love to do “just doesn’t pay well” it’s hard to say how much parents, peers, and social media are influencing them, but it’s likely a combination of all of these. I can’t help but wonder if their bleak life goals are causing them to be less excited about the future. The class of 2024, heading to college this month, was the least excited to graduate and go off to university of any graduating class I’ve counseled.

These are “good” kids. Instead of teens worrying about their parents catching them smoking pot or swearing, it seems to be parents who are worried about their teens catching them. But good isn’t the same as enthusiastic. Most of the high school students I work with are suffering from stress and anxiety, sometimes missing school for mental health reasons; they just want the world around them and the expectations put on them to slow down, to match their slow-life strategy. And maybe this isn’t such a bad thing; if we’re living to 100, maybe we don’t need to get a job at 15, graduate college at 22, start a family at 25, and be retired by 65.

After the initial scare of the COVID pandemic in March 2020, anxiety actually fell in the early days of summer that year. Everything slowed down; teens weren’t on the performance treadmill, trying to compete in what they perceived to be an increasingly competitive world. For a brief blip, the bar was lower, the pace was slower; they could just be for a minute. My most sincere hope is that we can give teens the gift of a slower pace and in doing so, grant them permission to dream again.

Twenge, Jean M., 1971- author. 2023. Generations: the real differences between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers, and Silents–and what they mean for America’s future / Jean M. Twenge, PhD.

Alex Ellison runs a college and career guidance practice, Throughline Guidance, which serves clients around the globe. She writes and lectures extensively on the subject of careers and college readiness and has been a featured speaker at SXSWedu and TEDx. She is the author of Go Your Own Way: 7 Student-Centered Paths to the Best College Experience and the creator of the Go Your Own Way Student Archetype Quiz used in schools and by individuals to jump-start their college search. Her forthcoming book, Your Hidden Genius: The Science-Backed Strategy to Uncovering and Utilizing Your Innate Talents hits shelves in January 2025.